On the wall in the hallway Jordan and I both have the Sturtevant Award given to graduating seniors who exemplified outstanding leadership and service during their time at Illinois College. When I see it, I feel pride in my past accomplishments but I also feel a sort of nagging regret that I am not doing more with my time at Iowa State.
It isn't as easy to get involved as an M.A. student but Iowa State itself also poses some problems. It is a large state school. Getting involved isn't necessarily harder, but it isn't the same experience as it would be at a private, liberal arts school. Groups here often have fifty or more students, not ten. I like standing out; this whole big pond, small fish thing doesn't really work for me. But...
It is hard for me to rationalize this when I see glaring issues that I would love to sink my teeth into and tackle during my spare time. Iowa State is severely lacking in support for the LGBTQ community. I talked with the director of LGBT Student Services and he knows of quite a few cases where LGBTQ students were completely satisfied with their academics but were dismayed by the lack of a support community; they transfered to other schools. Its a shame, and I could do work with it. I have ample experience with leadership and service--it feels like I am cheating the school as well as myself out of some tiny bit of difference.
In other news, I miss Paris.
2 comments:
Lazy ass. :)
i get this. i feel the same about my time here. i'm living a rather self-indulgent life i feel. perhaps this is just phase we're meant to pass through...? not sure, but i get it.
and, side note, i miss your face.
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