Honesty is a hard trick to master, one that I have never been good at mastering. Lately I have felt like I stay indoors--sometimes in my back bedroom--in order to lie to myself. If I am lounging around in sweats or athletic shorts and old tees, I don't have to face the fact that I am not so slowly expanding out of my clothing--almost all of my clothing. I don't have to face that reality if I don't get dressed.
I need to get over it and start being honest. During the course of the summer I did some good things. I managed to quit smoking for almost a month, I kept my apartment clean and tidy and I even went spinning regularly for a few weeks. What happened? I certainly have fell into a slump which is unbelievably frustrating. Right now I feel like yelling at myself. "The only want to break that chain of frustration is to make a dramatic change and actually follow through with it you dumbass!"
I need to start exercising again. I need to keep my living environment clean. I need to quit smoking once and for all. I need to stop hiding anxiety and frustration behind alcohol.
Wish me luck.
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